Hi Guys! Thanks for coming back to read my first wedding post and if you’re new, thank you for popping by!

We are working our way into wedding season so I think the timing of this post is just right!

This being my first wedding post and what not, I thought I would get straight into it by stating that planning a wedding is no joke, it’s not always fun and it does make your hair fall out. My intention is not to scare you soon-to-be brides but I do intend to keep it real with you. So, if you’re looking for a wedding post that only shares the pretty pictures with no sense of reality, this is probably not it. Ok, I’m kidding about the hair bit but I am being a hundred percent real with you when I say, I made a lot of enemies in a really short amount of time.

Why, you ask?

Because I refused to settle and I maintained an ‘it’s my wedding, it’s my way’ attitude. That’s a pretty difficult attitude to have if you’re an Indian bride! But, I stood strong and my hubby supported most of my decisions. The road to the wedding taught us quite a bit about each other. Mind you, we were dating for nine years before we got married. You never really know someone until you have to plan a wedding with them! I’m still in awe that he went ahead and married me after all my crazy was exposed! A wedding will do that to you! We were engaged for a year before we tied the knot. You would think it’s a boatload of time to plan a wedding. Well sure, if you’re not trying to complete a Master’s degree and keep your job at the same time. To top it all off I knew exactly what I wanted and so I just put extra pressure on myself to execute my vision. I hired the very best vendors because I knew I would not be able to DIY everything. We did have a few DIY items but for the most part, I relied on my vendors to take my vision and roll with it and that’s exactly what they did!

I know people will often tell you to save as much as you can and spend it on your honeymoon instead, but ladies, take it from me, you deserve to have the wedding you’ve envisioned and I pray that the one you envision is within your means. Whether it’s an intimate, Bohemian wedding in the middle of a forest or if it’s a huge wedding on a river bank in the blazing heat, but the sun shows off the blush, floral arrangements so well that you don’t mind getting a few shades darker, do it! It’s your time to celebrate love and the hope of a future!

So do what you must but remember that it will last, only but a day!

Essentially the build up to your wedding can, and in my opinion should be viewed as a build up to your marriage. It’s more than just one day that you should be thinking about. It’s the day after that and the next, and the next! God’s purpose for marriage does not culminate in a single day. The concept of marriage and partnership is celebrated on that day, but when the flowers and wine dry up, it’s all you honey! It’s up to you to snap right into being married and no one on your guest list (besides your hubby) can help you with that! So I maintain, don’t get caught up in the hype! It is obviously the easiest trap to fall into when planning the perfect day. You’re probably comparing your wedding to your cousin’s winter wonderland, themed wedding. Does my dress show off the painful diet I’ve been on all year? Will my sister in-law notice that my floral arrangements are bigger and better than her’s were? STOP! Your wedding will never outdo someone else’s and that should never be your goal. Your taste is yours alone so technically, you are competing with yourself. Your cousin is not going to care if your serviettes match the table cloths because she’ll be drinking the good wine you’ll serve and she’ll be dancing the night away with you! Change the way you’re thinking about your wedding. It’s not so much “what will they say” it’s more about “what will I say when I look back?” Did I stay true to who I am or did I fold under the pressure of comparison and opinion?”. Comparison is the devil and it’s totally a 2012 type of thing to do!

I was guilty of Pinteresting (yes, I made that a verb) to death, until I had a come to Jesus moment with myself after driving my blood pressure through the roof because I couldn’t settle on a colour palette. I realised that this celebration is only the tip of the iceberg and that, my friends, is what got me through planning my wedding! After changing my perspective on the concept of a wedding versus a marriage, everything changed!

I went from being a crazy little brown girl to a relaxed, mature bride who was so focused on spending forever with my soulmate that the last week of my wedding, while busy, was the most enjoyable!

Here are a few tips if you’re planning your big day:

  • Chose the right vendors. By right I don’t mean the cheapest. I mean chose those who really understand your vision and have good reviews.
  • Plan the heck out of your wedding! Get into the details if that’s your thing. It’s ok to allow yourself some room for crazy but have regular check-ins with yourself. If you’re shedding hair like a Persian cat, you should probably calm down and let the vendors do what they do best.
  • Get what you want, on your terms but make sure you’re paying for it. If you’re going to have that attitude, you should definitely make sure you’re paying for it! Don’t put your family or future partner under pressure.
  • Don’t expect your hubby to get extra involved in things like stationary selections, floral arrangements and wedding favours, unless he wants to. Don’t force the issue!
  • Allow him to enjoy the experience too. It’s as much his day as it is yours. Not everything that you are laser focused on will appeal to him and that is ok. Just look at it as just another opportunity for you to choose exactly what you want;)
  • Be thankful that he’s not asking you to change the colour scheme or add sunflowers to your perfectly picked, protea bouquet!
  • Compromise!
  • Pray, pray and pray some more. Pray for your marriage more than you pray for your wedding!
  • Now get off Pinterest!

Here are some photos from our big day. It was undoubtedly the best day of my life and honestly, if anything was amiss, I was too excited to notice. I could write about this day forever but this is more of a practical post. I hope it helps you! I will post a YouTube video soon where I share some more practical tips! Look out for that!

Happy Planning and may God bless your union!

 

Love & Joy

K.Joseph

Photos By: Simone Franzel Photography